Ask-Steve.com

TypoWatch: Salesforce.com speaks Alaskan

One can't help but wonder whether Marc Benioff, CEO and co-founder of Salesforce.com, is planning to enter politics. In a new book, The Developer's Guide to the Force.com Platform published by Salesforce.com, you'll find the following:

Yep. They're dropping the letter 'g'. That can only mean one thing: Getting folksy in preparation to run for office.

The Oregonian's gotta wake up their editor

Call this a petty complaint—on second thought, don't. It's not petty. It's alarming how rapidly major publications are deteriorating into typo-ridden, language slaughterhouses.

This photo caption from a story on the Oregonian's OregonLive.com site today reads:

Gotta good caption for this photo? Post it in the comments below.

Gotta? I can understand relaxing the language a little bit at times, but gotta? That's just plain tacky.

ABC News... or Reno 911?

I did a double take when I saw this ABC News story subtitle in Google News just now.

Gunman Kills 5 at Public Meeting in St. Louis Suburb Before Police Take Him Out

The almost flippant slang phrase take him out is just plain wrong in the context of a story about six people being shot to death, two of whom were police officers. It's disrespectful at best. This isn't an episode of Cops or Reno 911. What is the news coming to?

No fact-checkers on staff, either?

This is a screenshot from Google News just now. I posted yesterday about how none of the major news outlets seems to edit or proofread their stories for spelling and grammar anymore. Well, it appears they've ditched their fact checkers, too. Did the news writers go on strike along with their Hollywood brethren? I guess it is only a difference of a measly 17 billion dollars...

Reuters, meet spell check. Spell check, meet Reuters

I considered starting a series on Ask-Steve.com in which I would feature glaring typos from prominent news outlets, websites, e-mail newsletters, etc. I can see now that, given the fact that it's becoming difficult to find a page without a typo, that series would quickly consume my entire blog. But I'll post one more anyway.

Where have all the editors gone?

I don't think a day goes by now where I don't see a glaring typo in a book, magazine, major website, e-mail newsletter, etc. Many days I see more than one. It could be that it's because the sheer volume of stuff being printed everyday every day has skyrocketed. (Thanks for the guest proofread, Editor at Large!) Maybe it's just impossible for organizations to churn out this much content and actually send it through an editorial (or at least proofreading!) pass first. Whatever the excuse they might offer, it's inadequate. I love words and language and it sucks to see the attention paid to its proper use going down the toilet on such a massive scale.

[Note that Love is spelled properly (with an s) in the body of the e-mail, but not in the e-mail subject line—the most important part of an e-mail. Especially an e-mail trying to grab attention and sell something.]

The Left hired a Right-wing PR agency

Like it or not, we live in an age of sound bites, film clips, stock photos and snippets of text. Blogs, RSS feeds, Twitter and similar services are all meant to give us low-commitment nibbles from an overwhelming smorgasbord of data.

In this blog-eat-blog world of ideas and idea-logs, the most powerful brand typically wins. I don't mean brand in the corporate jingle kind of way. Well, I guess I do. Because even if we switch from the world of money to the world of ideas and politics, we're still competing for the same seconds on the same clock and the same CPU cycles in the same wetware (brains).

So what I want to know is, how did the Right sell their Trojan horse PR package to the Left?

Let's start with the word Left. I started by listing common phrases employing the word:

1. Leftovers - Food remaining from a previous meal
2. Left field - Of course we know that it denotes a position in baseball, but it "has come to be used in popular vernacular to describe any idea which seems wildly unrelated to the subject being discussed." (Wikipedia)
3. Stage left - The part of the stage on the actor's left as the actor faces the audience
4. Left handed - Using or intended for the left hand

And that's about it! But that last one is the kicker. The one that should send any brand expert running. The definition I gave for left handed above is only the first of six listed in WordWeb Pro. Here are the others:

2. (of marriages) illicit or informal
   "in Colonial America left-handed marriages between Frenchmen and Indians were frequent"
3. (of marriages) of a marriage between one of royal or noble birth and one of lower rank; valid but with the understanding that the rank of the inferior remains unchanged and offspring do not succeed to titles or property of the superior
4. Rotating to the left
5. Ironically ambiguous
   "a left-handed compliment"
6. Lacking physical movement skills, especially with the hands

So outside of the relatively innocuous fourth definition—indicating a counterclockwise rotation—there just isn't a great deal to recommend the word.

 

What's that? I can hear someone shouting from the back... Ah, yes. Let me repeat  for the whole audience. "Damn straight, man! We ARE moving counterclockwise! We're moving counter to the dominant paradigm! Counter to the dominant power!" Yes, great points all. We are the scrappy underdogs. The feisty and determined dissenters shouting... from the back of the room. And then getting dragged out and tased into twitching, screaming spasms of YouTube fodder when we don't pipe down. All of which no doubt contributed to Irving Kristol's motivation to betray his associates and slide so far to the  radical Right, founding what we now know and loathe as neoconservatism. But that's another story...

It's important to look here at where the term Left, in the political sense, originated—it's history and evolution. To do it justice, like many of the things I'm only mentioning in passing in this piece, would require a lengthy article. And that's what Wikipedia is for. But in short, the term came from France where it originally referred to the seating arrangements in the various legislative bodies of France, specifically in the French Legislative Assembly of 1791, when the king was still the formal head of state, and the moderate royalist Feuillants sat on the right side of the chamber, while the radical Montagnards sat on the left.[14] This traditional seating arrangement continues to be observed by the Senate and National Assembly of the French Fifth Republic. The Wikipedia entry on left-right politics is a rich and fascinating read.

 

These terms are widely used in the modern United States, but as on the  global level, there is no firm consensus about their meaning. The only  aspect which is generally agreed upon is that they are the defining  opposites of the United States political spectrum. "Left" and "right" in the U.S. are associated with "liberal" and "conservative,"  respectively, although the meanings of the two sets of terms do not  entirely coincide. Depending on the political affiliation of the  individual using them, these terms can be spoken with varying  implications. A 2005 poll of 2,209 American adults showed that "respondents generally viewed the paired concepts liberals and left-wingers and conservatives and right-wingers as possessing, respectively, generally similar political beliefs", but  also showed that around ten percent fewer respondents understood the  terms "left" and "right" than understood the terms "liberal" and  "conservative".[20]

Let's look at  how the word Left fares within a global cultural context. Maybe it's just gotten a bad rap in the U.S. I'd like to introduce my good friend, Wikipedia:

• In many European languages, "right" is not only a synonym for correctness, but also stands for authority and justice: German and Dutch recht, French droit, Spanish derecho; in most Slavic languages the root prav is used in words carrying meanings of correctness or justice.
 
• Being right-handed has also historically been thought of as being skilful: the Latin word for right-handed is "dexter", as in dexterity; indeed, the Spanish term diestro means both "right-handed" and "skilful". In Irish, "deas" means "right  side" and "nice". "Ciotóg" is the left hand and is related to "ciotach"  meaning "awkward".[18]
 
• Meanwhile, the English word "sinister" comes from the Latin word  "sinister,-tra,-trum", which originally meant "left" but took on  meanings of "evil" or "unlucky" by the Classical Latin era...
 
• The contemporary Italian word sinistra has both meanings of sinister and left. The Spanish siniestra has both, too, although the 'left' meaning is less common and is usually expressed by 'izquierda,'[19] a Basque word.
 
• The left side is often associated with awkwardness and clumsiness, as shown in the French gauche,  and adroit, droit meaning right, and adroit meaning skilled. The Dutch  expression "twee linkerhanden hebben" ("to have two left hands", which  means being clumsy). The common phrase, to have "two left feet" means  to be bad at dancing.
 
• In Portuguese, the most common word for left-handed person, canhoto, was once used to identify the devil, and canhestro, a related word, means "clumsy".
 
• n Norwegian, the expression venstrehåndsarbeid (left-hand work) means "something that is done in a sloppy or  unsatisfactory way". Additionally, one of the Norwegian words for  left-handed, "keivhendt", comes from Norwegian words meaning wrong  handed or not straight handed.
 
• The Hungarian word balfácán means twit. (Bal means left and fácán is for pheasant.) Other synonyms are balfék and balek. However all these are euphemistic versions of the original vulgar word balfasz, combining "bal" and the vulgar name of the male genitals fasz.
 
• In England, left-handed people are sometimes referred to as 'cackhanded', referencing their supposedly clumsy nature.

Okay, okay. We get the picture. But this is clearly just a Western phenomenon.  Again, my all-knowing friend:

 
• In Hebrew, as well as in other ancient Semetic and Mesopotamian languages, the term "hand" was a symbol of power or custody. [15] The left hand symbolized the power to shame society, and was used as a metaphor for misforture, natural evil, or punishment from the gods.
 
• In ancient China, the left has been the "bad" side. The adjective "left" (左 Mandarin:  zuǒ) means "improper" or "out of accord". For instance, the phrase  "left path" (左道 Mandarin: zuǒdao) stands for illegal or immoral means.  In some parts of China, some adults can still remember suffering for  the "crime" (with suitable traumatic punishments) of not learning to be  right-handed in both primary and secondary schools, as well as in some  "keeping-good-face" families.

Even the word "ambidexterity" reflects the bias. Its intended meaning is, "skillful on both sides". However, since it keeps the Latin root "dexter", which means "right", it ends up conveying the idea of  being "right-handed at both sides". This bias is also apparent in the  lesser-known antonym "ambisinistrous", which means "clumsy on both sides" and derives from the Latin root "sinister."[20]

Okay, so we're pretty much screwed when we look at the definition and etymology of the word Left. How about its phonetic value? One of the ways that we associate words is by how they sound and what words they rhyme with. What do we come up with?

LEFT: bereft, cleft, deft, heft, theft, weft

And that's pretty much it. Not an illustrious bunch. The word left just doesn't sound very light or bright. Nor does it delight. Alright, I'll be forthright and say it's more than a slight blight on those of us who choose to alight left of right!

If we look at only the one- and two-syllable words that rhyme with right, we find at least 171 of them:

RIGHT: affright, airtight, alight, alright, aright, axite, backbite, backlight, bight, birthright, bite, blacklight, blight, bobwhite, bombsight, bright, bullfight, byte...

[Sigh...] So what about the semiotics of our dominant political iconography? On the right, the Republicans have the elephant. On the left (at least I think the Democrats haven't crossed the center line, yet - though they seem to be gunning for it), the Democrats have... the jackass.

 

The most common symbol for the party is the donkey, although the party itself never officially adopted this symbol.[38] The origins of this symbol are unknown, but several theories have been  proposed. According to one theory, in its original form, the jackass  was born in the intense mudslinging that occurred during the  presidential race of 1828 in which Andrew Jackson was sometimes called a jackass by his opponents. A political cartoon depicting Jackson riding and directing a donkey (representing the  Democratic Party) was published in 1837. A political cartoon by Thomas Nast in an 1870 edition of Harper's Weekly revived the donkey as a symbol for the Democratic Party. Cartoonists  followed Nast and used the donkey to represent the Democrats, and the  elephant to represent the Republicans.

How fitting. We took a term of derision and insult and appropriated it, making it ours. Owning it. Yes! Take that, political opponents of Andrew Jackson!

 

The mascot symbol [of the Republican Party], historically, is the elephant. A political cartoon by Thomas Nast, published in Harper's Weekly on November 7, 1874, is considered the first important use of the symbol.[55] In the early 20th century, the usual symbol of the Republican Party in Midwestern states such as Indiana and Ohio was the eagle, as opposed to the Democratic rooster. This symbol still appears on Indiana ballots.

Despite its current lack of respect due to commonly used pejoratives like dumbass and jackass, the donkey actually holds its own quite well in world religion, myth, fable and folklore. Unfortunately, those have mostly faded and we now have the following:

 
• The donkey has long been a symbol of ignorance. Examples can be found in Aesop's Fables, Apuleius's The Golden Ass (The Metamorphoses of Lucius Apuleius) and Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream.
 
• Because of its connection with ignorance, in modern slang, referring to someone as a dumbass means that they are unintelligent. Many people would find this term vulgar and rude.
 
• In contrast, to refer to someone as a jackass in modern  slang provides a connotation of being obnoxious, rude, and thoughtless,  with or without the added connotation of stupidity. This usage is also  considered vulgar. A less vulgar substitute is donkey itself.
 
• The unmodified word ass has entered common use in the  English language as a term used to describe a person who resembles a  donkey in some way, such as appearance, stubbornness, foolishness, etc.
 
• In football, especially in the United Kingdom,  a player who is considered unskilful, and to rely overly on his  physical attributes to cover up his technical shortcomings, is often  dubbed a "donkey."
 
• In horse racing in the British Isles typically unsuccessful horses are labeled donkeys.
 
• Term for bad poker players that play hands when the odds are against them. "Wayne is such  a donkey, he put all his chips in drawing dead," or "Songman is such a  donkey, calling my all-in with a runner-runner flush draw" (also  sometimes referred to as a fish)
 
• In the Middle East, حمار (ḥomar), meaning "donkey", is a derogatory term that refers to someone of very limited intelligence. Another usage is حمار شغل (ḥomar shuġl,  literally "work donkey"), which means a very heavy worker, usually in  routine non-creative work; for example, someone might say, "Give that  job to Ali, he's a work donkey anyway and he won't mind."

And what of the elephant?

 

With a mass just over 5 kg (11 lb), elephant brains are larger than those of any land animal, and although the largest whales have body masses twentyfold those of a typical elephant, whale brains  are barely twice the mass of an elephant's. A wide variety of  behaviour, including those associated with grief, art, play, use of tools,[32] compassion and self-awareness [33] evidence a highly intelligent species on par with cetaceans and primates.[34]

Alright, so they're smart. How are they viewed in the context of religion and philosophy?

 
• A white elephant is considered holy in Thailand.
 
• Ganesh, the Hindu god of wisdom, has an elephant's head.
 
• Elephants are used in festivals in Sri Lanka, such as the Esala Perahera.
 
• The story of the Blind Men and an Elephant was written to show how reality may be viewed by different  perspectives. Its source is unknown, but it appears to have originated  in India. It has been attributed to Buddhists, Hindus, Jainists, and Sufis, and was also used by Discordians.

And in politics and secular symbolism?

 
• After Alexander's victory over the Indian king Porus, the captured war elephants became a symbol of imperial power, used as an emblem of the Seleucid diadoch empire, e.g. on coins.
 
• The elephant, and the white elephant (also a religious symbol of Buddha)  in particular, has often been used as a symbol of royal power and  prestige in Asia; occurring on the flag of the kingdom Laos (three  visible, supporting an umbrella, another symbol of royal power) till it  became a republic in 1975, and other Indochinese and Thai realms had  also displayed one or more white elephants.
 
• The Order of the Elephant (Danish: Elefantordenen) is the highest order of Denmark, instituted in its current form on 1693 by King Christian V.  The collar of the order consists of alternating elephants and towers,  and its badge shows an elephant bearing a watch tower, in front of  which a Moor is sitting, holding a golden spear.

And in pop culture?

 
• The phrase 'elephants never forget' has no metaphorical meaning, it  refers literally to elephants supposedly having an excellent memory.
 
• The expression white elephant refers to an expensive burden, particularly to a situation in which  much has been invested with false expectations. The phrase 'white  elephant sale' was sometimes used in Australia as a synonym for jumble sale.
 
• Jumbo, a circus elephant, has entered the English language as a synonym for "large".
 
• Dumbo, the elephant who learns to fly in the Disney movie of the same name.
 
• Horton Hatches the Egg is a book by Dr. Seuss about a faithful elephant who sits on the nest of an irresponsible bird for months.
 
• Joseph Merrick, a British man in Victorian England was nicknamed "The Elephant Man" due to the nature and extent of his deformities.
 
• American band the White Stripes' fourth album was entitled Elephant,  possibly because of lead singer Jack White's fondness of the animals'  extreme sensitivity toward each other. The album was #390 in Rolling Stone magazine's "500 Best Albums of All Time".

So a bit of a mixed bag there... But all in all, I have to say that I think the Right put us in their sights and, despite the Left feeling that we were too deft to succumb to their heft, when it comes to branding there's nothing to cite that will induce me to feel other than  that the hapless ass is left in a terrible plight: airtight and bereft in the elephant's cleft.

All this being the case, isn't it perhaps time to consider a rebranding exercise? Must we remain so closely tied to and call ourselves by a term that is today clouded in ambiguity and has its origins in the 18th Century seating arrangement of the French legislature?

 

Mommy, what does that mean?

Have fun explaining this one to your kids while you're standing at one of the four busy bus stops on the corner of SE 39th and Hawthorne in Portland. ("Hooked on Phonics be damned!")

I'm a very outspoken advocate of free speech--but good taste has to weigh in somewhere...

[And yes, I'm aware of the irony of this post in light of my "public bathroom mischief" entry of yesterday...]

Just plain wrong magazine layout and copy

I picked up Wine Press Northwest magazine for the first time the other day at New Seasons Market. It's a great magazine covering, as the title describes, all things having to do with wine in the Pacific Northwest.

I've always been a spelling and grammar queen, but I rarely pay much attention to page layout. This page in the Winter 2006/2007 issue of Wine Press Northwest is definitely the exception.

At least two-thirds of the page is taken up by an advertisement with only a narrow column on the right, running into the center fold, occupied by copy. Guess what they chose to squeeze in there? The article title reads:

3 NW winemakers die

There wasn't enough room to at least spell out the number three; the correct way to spell a number that begins a sentence. Especially one announcing the passing of not one, but three human beings. Not only that, but the title also gives the impression that these three individuals died in a single indcident, but that isn't the case. They were just all lumped into one cramped, sliver of a blurb.

There is just so much wrong here. I realize that Wine Press Northwest is a small publication with no doubt a very small staff. To modify an oft-quoted parents' admonition: When talking about something as sensitive as people passing away, if you can't say something nicely, don't say it at all.

Technorati Tags: advertising, design, layout, magazine, Oregon, copywriting

I don't want to encourage public bathroom mischief, but...

This one is just too funny to pass up. How could Rubbermaid have not seen this coming?

Or maybe it's one of those situations where the designer did see it coming.

Maybe the name was coined by a bored marketing person who knew it would make it safely through the internal hoops at Rubbermaid—and then give people some great laughs when clever bathroom visitors inevitably discovered the hidden gem and took artistic license with it.

Or perhaps it was devised this way from the start. Think online viral marketing carried to the most mundane level: a diaper changing table in a public restroom. It's certainly not something I thought I'd ever be blogging about, and yet here I am giving Rubbermaid some publicity and product promotion on Ask-Steve.com.

I do have to say that I wouldn't have written about this, though, if there weren't a very direct political tie in. That being the fact that the revised name of the Sturdy Station applies just as accurately to the current White House as it does to the diaper changing station.

[This photo was taken at the McMenamin's Bagdad Pub restroom on SE 37th & Hawthorne in Portland, Oregon]

Technorati Tags: advertising, Bush, graffiti, neoconservatism, Oregon, politics, Portland, public art